No such thing as “The One”

No such thing as “The One”

How did you and your significant other meet? How did you know he or she was “the one?” Or you are still figuring it out? How did you fall in love? Was it love at first sight?


For me, it was far from love at first sight. I met my husband, CK, in high school. He enrolled in my school in my sophomore year…something about his dad pulled him out of his old high school because he wasn’t performing well. Thankfully, he was able to transfer his credits and start as a second year student. He was quiet and hardly spoke to any girl on campus except to me of course. Me, on the other hand, although shy, had a lot of male friends and admirers. By the end of my senior year, eleven guys would ask me out and my answer would be “no” every single time. Unlike most girls, the last thing on my mind in high school was finding a boyfriend. I was determined to get out of high school with good grades and gain admission to a reputable college to pursue my dreams and aspirations.

I knew nothing about CK except for the fact that he had a great voice and good looks. Although sometimes his lack of style and poor choice of clothes at that time was a real turn off for me.

The high school we attended was faith-based institution. Towards the end of every semester, school administration organize a grand praise and worship gathering. This event was an opportunity for the entire school to come together and worship God in songs and praises. About a week to the event, I asked CK to sing a Solo with me. No, I wasn’t in love with him. And yes, he agreed. To this date, I still don’t know what propelled me to ask him. Probably my outgoing personality at that time? We will never know. Months turned into weeks and weeks into days and soon came time for graduation. As we were moving out of our various campuses to go back home, we discovered that his house was about 30 minutes walking distance from mine. We became very close friends after graduation and the rest is history…..

There is no cinderella story here. No “romantic” beginning here. I met a guy, we became friends and we both fell in love. I remember thanking God for him and in the same breath I asked God to remove him from my life if he’s not the man he has prepared for me.

There is no such thing as the one. Many people go into relationships with expectations: “If I start dating, then I’ll be happy; He/She will solve all my problems and make me happy; everything is going to be perfect once I get married.” Marriage is a good thing. In fact, marriage is a fulfillment of God’s Word in Ephesians 5: 31-32. However, going into marriage, or any relationship for that matter, with a mindset to gain fulfillment from your partner, will leave you disappointed. I get it. I understand. Relationships are painted colorful on the outside, thus making people assume it’s rose-colored glasses, all easy and perfect when you enter into one. Fact is, relationships are hard. They take lots of effort and commitment. In order to find the right person, you equally have to be ready to become the right person. Even the “right person” if treated wrong or not loved right can sure become the wrong person for you.

So here’s my definition of The One: A person created in the image of God, whose loyalty is first of all to God, who sees faults and love regardless, who understands marriage is all or really ALL. A person who does not expect much of you and is willing to see the worst part of you. A person who equally understands and admit that he/she is flawed as well. That you both are a work in progress and together you will build each other up and be there for each other for better AND for worse.

Love is humble. Love is kind. Love is beautiful. Love embraces flaws. Love is patient. Love sees the beauty inside.

Letter To My Husband

Dear Husband

Dear Husband,

It took weeks to write this. Not because I can not think of a million wonderful things to say about you, but because writing it all out seem unfathomable. Just yesterday, you cleaned up after I finished preparing dinner. The other day you cleaned the bathroom, mobbed the floors, ran errands on your day off. You stayed up all night weeks ago while I was sick and vulnerable to attend to my every need and request.

You bring lunch to my work during my busiest days because you know how I am with work – I hardly stop to eat. And oh how you make me feel EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. You constantly remind me of how beautiful I am even when I feel miserable.

See, I told you! It is hard to put to words how much of a wonderful person you’re! For 2 years, you have diligently and joyfully done all these things and much more without any complaint -none at all.

Yeah, I know we’ve only been in this for 2 years. As many concur, that’s probably not enough years to brag about. In fact I stumbled on an article just the other day that predicted that most marriages chances of failing in the first 2 years is high and even highest at 5 years.

Contrary to popular beliefs and studies, I believe the strength of our marriage is not based on the number of years we spend together but most importantly on God’s GRACE, our mutual love and respect for each other. You see, God’s grace is a breath of fresh air. An undeserved favor given to us freely by a merciful God. After over a decade of being together, we’re indeed a living proof that HIS Grace wins every time! I have no doubt we will thrive because of the perfect example you set every day and even more so, now, as the head of our home. For we know whom we have believed and we are convinced that he is able to guard what we have entrusted in Him until that day. – 2 Timothy 1:12. With God’s help, we have broken barriers, we beat distance and we have conquered mountains that others said could not be climbed. Let me just say this, when you put God first in all you do, things end well. But also, your positive outlook on everything, BLOWS my mind completely! ——Everything looks great to you. Everything sounds great to you. Everyday is a great day for you. And you feel great everyday!

I cannot find reasons why you give so much; why you love so much; why you keep such great and positive attitude. I hope in the years to come, I feel half as great as you feel every morning. I may not share much about our relationship on social media (which we have actually come to know, less is more 😉) but know that I hold a part of you in my heart everywhere I am. Thank you for loving me. ALL OF ME!

So on our anniversary, this is my prayer for you as we get ready to work through year 3 together:

May the Lord guide and keep you

May His favor never leave you

May the good Lord lift you beyond measures

May you be an example to our sons & daughters

May your positive energy never go unnoticed

Be blessed, my love.

Faithfully Yours,

Mrs. Ottopah